I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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