im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
