i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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