i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
