I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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