Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
