it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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