I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize