Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
