HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
