you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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