I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
