Can i not drive my cunt home
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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