you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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