there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize