That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
