Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
