Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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