I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
