she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
