I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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