I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
