Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
