It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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