Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
