i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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