So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize