So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
