The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize