Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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