youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
