We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize