Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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