look no pants
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we're making bets on your personal life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
