she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
