We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
