a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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