Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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