What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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