i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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