he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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