I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
