I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
