some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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