One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
