We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize