Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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