The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
