just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
