We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There's always time for handjobs
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
