We're facebook friends in real life
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
