Got a toothbrush?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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