He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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