i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im part way to drunk.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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