so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
