I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
