Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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