it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
