i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
