Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
