Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
